S80 Chronicles: 40 Snapshots
by Sydella
Summary: The 40 beautiful, painful, glorious moments that led to Squalo and Yamamoto falling in love. S80. Hints of some other pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**1**

When Yamamoto first saw Squalo, the first thing that went through his mind was, contrary to popular belief, not _This guy's strong. I have to take him down. _Or even _That is the longest hair I have ever seen on another guy._

Instead, in some primitive part of his mind, he was vaguely aware that he found Squalo (and here Yamamoto bites his tongue in embarrassment, promising himself that he will never tell anyone, not even Tsuna or his father, this silly teenage secret) ridiculously handsome.

**2**

Yamamoto trained harder than ever before in the lead-up to the Rain Ring Battle. Gokudera grudgingly voiced approval of Yamamoto's newfound commitment. Yamamoto didn't have the heart to tell the aspiring right-hand man that he had known all along the seriousness of being in the Mafia. He knew very well that this was not a game and never had been.

However, he now had a perfectly good reason to go all out, and had found it in the cold grey eyes of the Sword Emperor.

**3**

Dino may never know, but when the Cavallone don casually mentioned having once attended the same school as Squalo, Yamamoto felt a twinge of envy, immediately followed by a burning desire to ask further. There was so much Yamamoto wanted to know: What had been Squalo's favourite subjects? Did he get good grades? Did he shout at schoolteachers too? Did he socialise a lot or had he been the lone wolf (lone shark, rather) type?

Leviathan may represent the sin of Envy, but sometimes Yamamoto honestly thinks the Varia Lightning Guardian has nothing on him. Years of associating with Squalo have clearly created a strong bond between the two high-ranking Mafiosi, even when they are on opposing sides, and despite himself, a part of Yamamoto resents Dino for that. _How, _Yamamoto silently wondered as he surreptitiously observed Dino standing protectively behind Squalo's wheelchair, _on earth do I compete with that?_

**4**

In that insane alternate future, when Squalo arrived in a flurry of rain-drenched fury and "kidnapped" Yamamoto, Dino watched them leave with an understanding smile. Drifting in and out of consciousness, Yamamoto wondered how Dino could just stand there clutching that massive tuna and smiling indulgently at Squalo. At the same time, Yamamoto's inner child stomped his feet and said petulantly, _Why didn't Squalo also give me a present?_

**5**

Squalo sternly advised Yamamoto to dedicate himself wholeheartedly to swordsmanship. Although Yamamoto laughed off Squalo's intensity at first, he instinctively knew that Squalo was speaking words of wisdom and couldn't help but respect Squalo for such utter devotion.

He did wish Squalo had less of a one-track mind when Squalo hauled him out of bed for yet another round of sparring in the wee hours of the morning, though.

**6**

"Why do you like tuna so much?" Yamamoto asked curiously as they ate tuna carpacchio by the light of campfire.

Squalo shrugged. "I'm Italian. Tuna carpaccio is a staple of Italian cuisine." After a slight pause, the older male added, "Also because I grew up eating it. When I was a child, my parents always bought it for me."

Yamamoto's curiosity grew. "What was your childhood like? I've never heard you talk about your early years before."

"I'm an assassin." Squalo speared a piece of tuna with a little more force than was strictly necessary. "Assassins don't…talk about such things. The past is the past."

Dozens of questions swam through Yamamoto's mind, but the strange, sad look Squalo gave him meant that, for the first time in a long while, Yamamoto was at a loss for words.

**7**

"Thanks for everything!" Yamamoto called out as Squalo returned to the Varia. Squalo made no reply but in the distance, Belphegor smirked at Yamamoto, as if the prince knew what he was really thinking. Yamamoto blushed and looked away.

**8**

For a few minutes, Byakuran stared impassively at Yamamoto after healing him. As Yamamoto slowly came to, the former Millefiore don said without preamble: "Your friends need you."

Yamamoto sat bolt upright. "Is Squalo okay?! I know he said that the Varia would like to help against the Shimon, but…"

Byakuran raised an eyebrow. "I'm referring to Tsunayoshi-kun and your fellow Guardians."

"Oh. Right." Yamamoto felt like a deer caught in headlights. "Well, I'll be going now."

Byakuran inclined his head regally and stepped aside to let the boy hurry past. When Yamamoto had left, Byakuran gazed absently at the rumpled sheets on the hospital bed.

"Ah, Tsunayoshi-kun," he sighed. "What has your Rain Guardian done to himself?"

**9**

Even as he saved Kaoru Mizuno and smiled reassuringly at Tsuna, Yamamoto was secretly relieved that Squalo wasn't involved in this particular conflict. For once, the Varia had the luxury of staying away from the battlefield, and Yamamoto thanked whatever gods were listening for that small act of mercy.

**10**

Horribly and irrationally, Yamamoto had briefly contemplated killing someone just to obtain a transplantable heart for Squalo after the horrific battle against the Vindice, but fortunately, Reborn brought him back to his senses, the first and only time Reborn had ever scolded Yamamoto. Humbled, Yamamoto sat glumly beside Squalo's hospital bed and watched the rise and fall of his mentor's chest.

"Brat," Squalo said shortly upon regaining consciousness and seeing Yamamoto's anxious face.

"You're awake!" Yamamoto exclaimed joyfully. "Hold on, I'll get the doctors-"

"No need."

"What do you mean, there's no need? We should celebrate the fact that you've surv-wait a minute." A dreadful realisation dawned on Yamamoto, filling him with horror. "If you have no heart, how are you even talking to me? Have you become a ghost?!"

Squalo stared at him incredulously. "You are such an idiot. Surely you know about illusionary organs?"

Yamamoto smiled weakly. "Ah, I see. Of course. My bad."

Squalo rolled his eyes. "You have anything to read? Even the Swordsman's Guide to Life is better than nothing, though it's boring as hell and I've already memorized-"but he never got to finish his sentence as Yamamoto pounced on the bed and hugged him tightly.

Squalo shifted awkwardly and patted his head. "Naïve brat," he said gruffly. "There, there."

**11**

They didn't see much of each other for a few years after that. Yamamoto constantly texted Squalo, who always responded with terse, one-word replies (or, on the rare occasion that he was feeling generous, two words). They added each other on a few social media accounts, but Squalo was rarely online. Yamamoto heard about Squalo's doings through Dino and various other assorted Mafia acquaintances, but it was only four years later that they fully re-established contact.

Tentatively, Yamamoto dialled Squalo's number and waited patiently. Squalo answered on the sixth ring. "Ciao," he said dully, sounding bored.

"Hi! We haven't talked for so long. I really, really, really want to know how you're doing. Listen, I'm looking at your Facebook albums right now, and you have nothing but thousands of pictures of sharks. Why is that?"

There was a long silence. Yamamoto could hear Squalo breathing, but there was no other sound from his end.

"Um, hello?" Yamamoto said nervously.

Sounding as if he was trying very hard not to laugh, Squalo wheezed: "You are such a _teenager_. Hey, boss, was I ever silly as a teenager?"

In the background, Yamamoto could hear Xanxus mutter: "Yes. And you still are."

"VOI! That's not possible!" Squalo yelled.

Violent scuffling sounds ensued, and the call abruptly disconnected. "Hello? Hello?" Yamamoto repeated, but the only response was a dial tone. He shrugged and hung up. "Bad reception, maybe."

**12**

In Squalo's room, there is a box in which Squalo keeps all his most important documents. Amongst the faxes, bills and photographs is a small, yellowed piece of paper, on which is written a short and simple poem. The poem reads as thus:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I think sharks are really cool

And I'm glad I met you.

It is an almost painfully straightforward poem, one that a child could write. Nonetheless, Squalo carefully puts it in a special compartment, and stabs anyone who tries to tamper with it or throw it away.

**13**

One pleasant, uneventful summer day, Dino visits Yamamoto's baseball club and hands him an enormous tuna. "It's from Squalo," Dino says cheerily, by way of explanation. "He would give it to you himself if he could, but he's currently on a mission and asked me to help deliver it to you."

"He did?" Touched, Yamamoto accepted the gift. "Thanks for your help. I'll definitely thank him next time I see him."

Dino smiled warmly, then leaned in closer and whispered: "I hope you realise what an honour you've been given."

Yamamoto nodded. Of course he did realise.

**14**

"Sometimes I think about life, what our purpose is and things like that." Yamamoto gazed wistfully at a passing cloud that somewhat resembled a shark. "Hey, that one looks kind of like your Box Animal!"

"I suppose so." Squalo munched a biscuit. They lay side by side in a field on the outskirts of Namimori. The air was still and nearby, a bird (possibly Hibird) trilled. Yamamoto felt at peace with the world.

"So why are you here?" Yamamoto asked. "You rarely come to Japan except for work, much less Namimori."

Squalo yawned. "I'm your teacher. Just thought I'd check how you're doing."

Yamamoto grinned. "I'm doing great. I like having you here. We should do this more often."

Squalo said nothing, but reached out a hand and patted Yamamoto's knee absently, not looking at him.

**15**

"Does it bother you?" Squalo asked Xanxus. "That my student has a crush on me."

"Why would it bother me?" Xanxus took a sip of wine. "He's trash, like everyone else. I don't care what you do with him."

Squalo smiled sadly. "I might fall for him. I'm not saying that I will, but I might."

"Mm." Xanxus looked away. "In that case, just do what you want."

**16**

"In the end, the shark and the swordfish lived happily ever after." Yamamoto closed the book of fairy tales he had been reading to his younger cousin from.

"Do the one about the goblin princess!" his cousin begged.

"Tomorrow night, okay?" Yamamoto smiled, stood and switched off the light. "Good night."

Pouring himself a glass of milk, Yamamoto joined his father on the porch. "Is Shouko finally asleep?" Tsuyoshi asked.

Yamamoto chuckled. "Yeah. I read 'The Shark and the Swordfish' to her."

Tsuyoshi nodded. "That was always my favourite. It's not only a children's story, but also an important story about swordsmen and their mentors. Don't you agree?"

Yamamoto looked up at the stars in the night sky and thought of Squalo. "Yeah, Dad."

**17**

Squalo sits on the throne of the Sword Emperor with pride, but years later, he and Yamamoto have an unspoken agreement to share the position. "It's not abdication," he explained to a bemused Lussuria. "It's co-ruling."

Lussuria thought this over for a moment, then rubbed his hands together in glee. "Oh, I understand now!" the Sun of the Varia exclaimed. "Squ, you're in love, aren't you?"

Squalo was furious at first and started to correct Lussuria, before realizing that his teammate was right. "Oh no," he said weakly.

"Oh yes," Lussuria said happily. "Now, stop spoiling your beautiful face with that seasick look, and let's get down to filming!"

"Um, not today." Squalo turned away. "I'm going to lie down for a while."

Lussuria watched Squalo leave and muttered to no one in particular, "Squ needs to be honest with himself."

**18**

"Why are you so shocked?" Xanxus asked coldly. "Didn't you say that you might fall for him?"

"I did." Squalo stopped pacing Xanxus' room and rubbed his aching temples. "But it's one thing to anticipate a possibility, and another thing entirely to see it become a reality…"

Xanxus smiled grimly. "Well, this is your reality now. Deal with it."

Squalo frowned at him. "You're taking this very calmly."

"We're not exclusive." Xanxus threw a wineglass which narrowly missed Squalo's head. Squalo scowled and stomped towards him.

"Don't you love me?" Squalo demanded, leaning over his boss until tendrils of his long, white hair tickled Xanxus' face.

Xanxus pushed him away half-heartedly. "We are assassins. We don't talk about _love_, shark."

**19**

"I like someone," Yamamoto confided, watching Tsuna's wide brown eyes widen even further.

"Who?" Tsuna asked, eagerly leaning forwards as Gokudera made a sound of disapproval.

Yamamoto laughed and tousled Tsuna's hair. The little boss-to-be could be so adorable. "You'll see," Yamamoto replied with a wink.

Tsuna pouted. "Not fair. I always tell you about Kyoko-chan…"

Yamamoto smiled indulgently and said nothing. How could he possibly tell his two closest friends that he had fallen for his mentor?

**20**

"I'm going to college." Yamamoto made the announcement with an air of finality. He stared at Squalo, trying to gauge the older male's reaction.

Squalo didn't look at him. "Good for you," the Sword Emperor replied, seeming even moodier than usual.

For a moment, Yamamoto stood rooted to the spot, debating with himself. Then, with a swordsman's determination, he darted forwards and gave Squalo a quick kiss on the cheek. Squalo stared at him with an expression of such utter shock that under any other circumstances, Yamamoto would have laughed.

Picking up his bags, Yamamoto walked away slowly. Then, he paused and glanced back.

"Don't forget me, Squalo." And he left without another word.

Squalo stared at his student's retreating back and thought with a strange mixture of despair and delight: _How could I? _


	2. Chapter 2

**21**

Sitting alone in his dorm room, Yamamoto ran a hand through his hair and wondered tiredly if love was supposed to feel like this. Surely all those songwriters who waxed lyrical about first love couldn't be wrong?

Morosely, he began to unpack. At the sight of Shigure Kintoki placed carefully atop a stack of clothes, he paused, then gently set it aside.

Who knew one person could cause so much homesickness? And Squalo wasn't even in Japan.

**22**

"You are heartsick," Mammon wisely observed. "Lovesick, to be precise."

Squalo nodded, feeling desperately glum. "Any advice?"

"Well, sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Just then, Belphegor swooped in and picked Mammon up. "Ushishishi, so this is where you've been. Come on, entertain me. The prince is bored."

Belphegor left, carrying Mammon. Squalo watched them leave and sighed.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder?" he thought, pensively sipping a cup of tea. "We'll see about that."

**23**

Yamamoto was torn between his college's baseball club and swordplay club. He inquired about both and discussed the matter with Tsuna over the phone.

"I'm sure you will do well no matter which club you choose," Tsuna said encouragingly.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence!" _But I'm not really feeling it, _Yamamoto added silently. After he hung up, he breathed deeply, trying to calm himself, and ran like the wind to apply for the swordplay club before he could change his mind. As he ran, he imagined Squalo watching him, those cold grey eyes glinting with amusement and maybe, just maybe, a little affection.

**24**

Squalo killed and killed and just kept killing. Blood drenched his uniform and soaked his hair, turning the white locks into a tangled, reddish mess, but he thought only of Yamamoto.

"Please don't kill me!" his latest victim begged. "I have a wife and kids!"

Squalo looked at him with the soulless eyes of an emissary of Death and killed him on the spot. Yamamoto's voice whispered in his imagination, _You are better than this._

Smiling grimly, Squalo wiped the blood off his sword's blade and looked over to where Lussuria was adjusting his film equipment.

"No, naïve brat," he murmured, ignoring Lussuria's curious gaze. "I'm not."

**25**

Xanxus was in an even worse mood than usual. In a fit of rage, he called Tsuna and blustered at the young heir for over an hour before finally hanging up. A very bewildered and traumatised Tsuna retreated into Gokudera's embrace.

"He kept saying something about keeping my Rain Guardian on a leash because he has enough trouble with his own Rain Guardian as it is," Tsuna whimpered. "What could have happened between Squalo and Yamamoto?"

Gokudera wanted to rant and promise that he would blow Xanxus up at the earliest opportunity, but knew that Tsuna wouldn't appreciate that. Stroking Tsuna's hair and murmuring comforting words into his boss's ear, he made a mental note to inform Yamamoto of this latest happening.

**26**

"He did _what?!_" Yamamoto gasped.

"You heard me." Gokudera lit a cigarette and inhaled, savouring the cancerous smoke that filled his lungs. "He told Tenth to keep you on a leash, whatever that means."

Yamamoto thanked Gokudera and hung up, mind whirling with a turmoil of emotions. With trembling fingers, he dialled Varia headquarters.

"Ciao!" Lussuria trilled.

"Ah, Lussuria-san, may I speak to Squalo?"

Abruptly, Lussuria's tone became sombre. "Ah, I'm afraid that's not possible."

"Why not?" Yamamoto fought to suppress a surge of panic. "What's happened to him?"

"I thought you knew. It's been all over Mafia news recently." Now Lussuria sounded distinctly uneasy.

"Please tell me," Yamamoto pleaded. He was afraid to know, yet he had to know.

Lussuria sighed heavily. "Long story short, Squalo made a miscalculation against an opponent and he's been hospitalised. And he was so close to reaching his goal of securing the Sword Emperor's throne…"

"Lussuria-san." Yamamoto sounded much calmer than he felt.

"Yes?"

Yamamoto stared out the windows of his dorm room. Outside, rain was falling with a steady, monotonous pitter-patter. "How do I get to Varia headquarters from the nearest airport?"

**27**

Xanxus was sulking in his room when Leviathan reported that Yamamoto had arrived. The Varia boss did not respond and Leviathan left the room, quietly closing the door.

The wine dulled Xanxus's senses and though no one was there to hear him, he made a loud declaration: "We are assassins. We do not show grief."

He raised his wineglass and took careful aim. The glass shattered against a wall and ruby red wine ran across the floor in rivulets. Xanxus sneered and thought about how much he hated Yamamoto.

**28**

"Squalo…" Yamamoto said softly. The sight of his mentor lying prone on a bed in the Varia's infirmary greeted him. Squalo's torso was encased in bandages, and the Sword Emperor's long white hair spilled out across the pillows, which were almost the same colour.

Behind Yamamoto, Lussuria fidgeted. "I suggest you leave soon," the Varia's healer half-whispered. "My boss will kill you. And I mean that literally."

Yamamoto chose to disregard this warning, despite knowing that he was being foolish. After all, doesn't loving someone require a little foolishness? Bending over Squalo's good hand, he brushed his lips against the pale knuckles. Squalo's grey eyes, tired but as cold as ever, opened and stared unseeingly at Yamamoto for a moment, then closed again.

"What do you think?" Yamamoto asked Lussuria, knowing the latter's healing abilities.

"He keeps drifting in and out of consciousness." Tenderly, Lussuria adjusted a pillow beneath Squalo's head. "Actually, his condition looks worse than it really is. As a healer, though, I would advise him against doing anything strenuous for the next few months."

Yamamoto looked back at Squalo. The Sword Emperor's chest slowly rose and fell beneath the mountain of bandages. Gently placing a hand on Squalo's forehead, Yamamoto murmured, "Get well soon."

He turned to see Lussuria staring at him with a strange expression. "What?" he asked, feeling self-conscious.

Lussuria smiled. "You really love him, don't you?"

Yamamoto's mouth opened and closed, like that of a fish out of water. "Er…"

"It's all right." Lussuria gazed at Squalo. "He is…the kind of man who can belong to many partners, but once he finds someone whom he can love above all others, he will dedicate himself wholeheartedly to that person." The Varia's healer looked up at Yamamoto. "Do you understand?"

Yamamoto could only nod. A resounding crash reached their ears and the ceiling shook. Xanxus shouted something incoherent. Lussuria exchanged an apprehensive glance with Yamamoto. "You should go now."

Yamamoto nodded again and silently slipped out. On the way back home, he vowed to someday compensate poor Lussuria, who was surely now facing the brunt of Xanxus' wrath.

**29**

Like any self-respecting assassin, Squalo recovered at half the speed of an ordinary human and promptly resumed his duties. Being typical men, Squalo and Xanxus had a heartfelt discussion about Yamamoto's visit, meaning that they exchanged a few curt words about it and left it at that. On one of his days off, Squalo sneaked out of Varia headquarters and made a point of visiting Yamamoto. The boy was at home, helping out in TakeSushi. Squalo entered the restaurant and looked around, feeling slightly ill at ease. He had never been fond of Japanese cuisine, and this small-town atmosphere didn't suit him.

Yamamoto caught sight of him and almost dropped a tray laden with dishes. "Squalo!" he squealed. Yes, literally _squealed_. Squalo tried very hard not to smile, but it was difficult.

"Come in, sit down." Yamamoto ushered him to a table. "What can I get you? How are you? I was so worried! I wanted to get Shamal to treat you, but he doesn't treat women. Anyway, um, how _are _you?"

Squalo covered his mouth with a hand to hide a smile. Damn this kid. "I'm fine. Now why don't you get me some…" he glanced at the menu. "Seaweed-flavoured sushi?"

"Right away!" Yamamoto skipped away, somehow managing not to drop the dishes. Squalo buried his face in the menu, overcome by a sudden fit of laughter.

In all honesty, he was feeling on top of the world.

**30**

Coincidentally, Dino was in Namimori at the same time, having dropped by to check on his "cute little brother". Squalo and Dino bantered for several minutes while Yamamoto forced a smile and tried not to feel jealous. When Dino left, Yamamoto said with false cheer, "So you and Bucking Horse are pretty close, huh?"

"Yeah. We attended the same school, after all." Squalo began to walk down the street and Yamamoto fell into step beside him. They walked side by side in companionable silence for a while until Squalo suddenly stopped at an intersection.

"Brat, you should know that if you do something absolutely stupid like get jealous for no good reason, I'll whack you until you pass out." Squalo gave Yamamoto a stern look. "Have I made myself clear?"

Yamamoto suddenly felt much happier, and nodded vigorously. A look of mutual understanding was exchanged between teacher and student. Squalo's expression softened, and they leaned towards each other. Then, a mood killer in the form of a noisy motorbike suddenly came roaring past, and with sheepish smiles, they walked on.

**31**

After graduating from college, Yamamoto was busier than ever. Although Gokudera had officially been appointed Tsuna's right-hand man, Yamamoto to some extent shared the position of Vongola second-in-command. Keeping the family running smoothly was a heavy task and he was sometimes so preoccupied that Squalo rarely, if ever, crossed his mind.

But when Squalo ran past him at a Christmas party, chasing after Belphegor, Yamamoto smiled fondly at the sight of his mentor screaming obscenities and brandishing the Sword Emperor's infamous _spatha_. Nothing like seeing that his love interest hadn't changed at all to brighten Yamamoto's day.

**32**

One day, Yamamoto collapsed without warning. At first, Shamal said contemptuously that Yamamoto really shouldn't waste his precious skirt-chasing time because the problem was obviously nothing worse than a simple case of overwork, but soon even Shamal began to fret. Yamamoto refused to work, play or eat; anything that would require him to leave his room. He lay on his bed, curled up into a foetal position, and refused to answer anyone's questions or pleas.

When Squalo got wind of this, the elder swordsman surprisingly did not rage or panic. Instead, he paid a visit to TakeSushi and spoke to Tsuyoshi, who directed him to Yamamoto's room.

"I just don't know what to do." Tsuyoshi's despair was evident. "He's never been like this. He was always such a good boy…"

"I understand," Squalo said, trying and failing to sound gruff. "How long has this been going on?"

"About a month." Tsuyoshi dabbed his eyes with a sleeve.

Squalo nodded and knocked on Yamamoto's door. A muffled thump reached their ears, but no other sound came, no other indication that there was even anyone in there.

"Tsuyoshi-san, would you mind a little property damage?" Squalo asked calmly.

Tsuyoshi looked up and smiled wanly. "At this point, sir, I care about nothing but saving my son."

"In that case…" Squalo unsheathed his _spatha _and, within seconds, demolished Yamamoto's door while a stunned Tsuyoshi could only watch. The now-useless door landed on the floor with a crash and Squalo stepped into the room, coughing as clouds of dust swirled around.

On the bed, Yamamoto stirred feebly but did not turn to face his mentor and father even as the two older men approached, peering at him.

"Tsuyoshi-san, I think that some tea would be beneficial to your son right now." Squalo gently placed a hand on Yamamoto's back.

Relieved and grateful, Tsuyoshi bowed and left. When he returned with a steaming mug of tea, Yamamoto was sitting up, crying and hugging Squalo so tightly that an ordinary man would have been gasping for air by then. But Squalo just let Yamamoto cry all over his pristine Varia uniform, his pale Italian face solemn and resigned.

Tsuyoshi himself could have hugged Squalo right then and there.

**33**

With Squalo's help, Yamamoto slowly recovered and a little over a year later, resumed his Guardian duties. He apologised profusely to Tsuna, who teared up and ordered him to take it easy from now on. Dino observed all this from afar and made a point of talking to Squalo about it.

"Thank you." Dino felt more than a little teary himself. "He owes his life to you now."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about," Squalo replied wearily. "I didn't do anything."

Dino kissed his old friend on the cheek and whispered: "Yes. Yes, you did."

**34**

The two swordsmen sparred frequently. Though both knew their sparring sessions were little more than a friendly rivalry, neither of them ever lost a competitive streak that bordered on vicious.

After years of experience and intensive training, Yamamoto's level of skill was almost the same as Squalo's. But every so often, Squalo would flash a rare smile while sunlight glinted in that long, silky white hair, and Yamamoto would be hopelessly distracted.

Well, Squalo could yell and scold all he liked. It wasn't Yamamoto's fault that the elder swordsman was so goddamn _pretty_.

**35**

Once, Tsuna and Gokudera decided to go out and have a night of fun, and Tsuna suggested that Yamamoto accompany them with a date of his own. "It'll be a double date," the young boss explained.

Yamamoto grinned. "Sure, sounds fun! I'm going to invite Squa-" he clapped a hand over his mouth.

Tsuna tilted his head and smiled impishly. "Yes, by all means invite Squalo."

Yamamoto blushed furiously. "I…I, er…"

"Yes, yes. I know it's a secret relationship." Tsuna turned and let Gokudera help him with his coat. "I just hope you realise that everyone knows about it by now."

Yamamoto's cheeks felt like they were on fire, and he had to run to the nearest restroom to wash his face.

**36**

"I'm the oldest, so I get to choose where we go," Squalo said briskly.

"Okay~" Tsuna was clearly all too ready to let someone else take charge for once. "Take your time."

They ended up in Namimori's only Italian restaurant. Squalo was unsatisfied with the food ("This is _not _how you cook pasta") but was mollified when Yamamoto presented him with a stuffed toy shark.

"It's great," he said happily, stroking the toy's head.

"Really?" Yamamoto beamed. "I'm so glad you like it."

Squalo smiled and a dreamy look appeared on his face. "It's as good as the island my boss bought for my thirtieth birthday. Say what you will about Xanxus, he's an asshole but he can be a very generous asshole. Oh, and there was also the time Bucking Horse cooked tuna carpaccio for me. Tuna carpaccio was literally everywhere I looked. Took me back to my childhood…"

Yamamoto fought back a surge of jealousy and violently impaled a meatball on his fork, ignoring Gokudera's look of consternation.

**38**

The first time Yamamoto fell into bed with Squalo, the younger swordsman felt awkward and kept fumbling, wondering if he was doing everything correctly. Squalo, on the other hand, was graceful and surprisingly gentle. When it was over, Yamamoto lay on his back and stared at the ceiling.

Squalo slowly sat up, grimacing. "You," he panted, "have a lot of stamina."

"Didn't you already know that?" Smiling, Yamamoto studied his mentor's profile. As always, Squalo's eyes held a stern look but the older man's mouth twitched slightly, as if he was trying not to smile.

"Go to sleep, brat." Squalo yawned and propped himself up against the headboard.

Yamamoto dutifully complied, aware of Squalo's eyes on his bare back. He felt happier than he had been in a long time.

**39**

"Who was your first?" Yamamoto tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Squalo glanced at him but said nothing.

"Let me guess. Bucking Horse?"

Squalo shook his head.

"Xanxus?"

Another headshake.

Still valiantly trying to keep his tone light, Yamamoto forced a laugh. "Lussuria?"

Squalo pursed his lips and nodded.

"Wow." Yamamoto felt weak. "I…don't know what to say."

"It was a one-off thing." Squalo sighed. "Sometimes assassins need to do whatever they can to ease the stress of killing."

Yamamoto looked away. "Well, isn't that just great."

Squalo grabbed Yamamoto's arm and forced the younger male to look at him. "Listen to me, brat. It doesn't matter who had me first. It's who has me _last _that matters. You need to understand this."

Yamamoto remembered what Lussuria had said all those years ago: "He is…the kind of man who can belong to many partners, but once he finds someone whom he can love above all others, he will dedicate himself wholeheartedly to that person."

Snuggling against his mentor and lover, Yamamoto whispered: "I understand now. I'm sorry."

**40**

As they get older, Yamamoto knows that their time is finite and Squalo may even leave the world before him. But that's what makes every moment they have together so precious. Every time he manages to wrestle Squalo away from the demands of the Varia and the Bucking Horse's wistful 'bromancing', Yamamoto knows he has notched another victory and revels in it. One day, when Squalo is on vacation, Yamamoto borrows Tsuna's private jet and flies to see him.

Squalo is re-reading the Swordsman's Guide to Life for the umpteenth time when he hears a knock on his hotel room door. He goes to open it, expecting to see a room service waiter. Instead, Yamamoto is standing there with a smile wide and bright enough to make the sun envious.

"Hi!" the naïve brat chirps.

Squalo stares at him for a moment, then smiles back. "Hi yourself."

Without another word, Squalo takes Yamamoto's hand, pulls him into the room and closes the door.


End file.
